Issue #11 - February 15, 2008

Dear reader:

Do you like horses?  Ever since I was a kid I wanted a horse.  I took some riding lessons as a young girl, and have since enjoyed  a few forays into the Texas back country with friends.

But what I have never done is considered how being with a horse could be compared with leadership!

 

Read on below about a recent experience: "Leadership, Focus, and Horses: How Our Bodies Betray Us."

 

 

 

 

Owner, Synergy Builders

Contents:

1.  Leadership, Focus, and Horses: How Our Bodies Betray Us

2. The End of My Back Pain!       

Have you ever had the experience of being in a team, when you knew that the leader, who talked as if he or she knew what was going, really didn’t?  How about when you heard someone state a “party-line,” but you knew he didn’t believe in it?  How did you know these things about that person? 

 

Non-verbal Communication is 90-98% of the Message

You might have heard that studies have shown that between 90-98% of our communication is NON-VERBAL.  So much of the messages that we receive from people are sub-conscious, because that is how our brains work.  We pick up signals and subtle cues all the time.  We are sending out communication messages constantly in the form of body language, eye contact, mouth and lips, how straight we stand, how determined we walk, and how we hold our heads.

 

I often ask in my communication workshops:  “Are you more likely to believe what you hear (the words), or what you see and experience (the actions)?”  Invariably, the answer is, “What I see and experience.” And the interesting part is that what we consciously “see” is often just the tip of the iceberg as to what we unconsciously perceive!

 

Horse Talk

Two weeks ago I had an extraordinary experience.  I attended a leadership development program that utilized horses.  This program was led by a young woman, Koelle Simpson, who has studied the horse starting, gentling, and “join-up” techniques used by horse trainers such as Monty Roberts and Kelly Marks. The night before my personal experience, Koelle had demonstrated how she “started” a young colt, that had never had a saddle or bridle, and within 30 minutes the horse calmly accepted the saddle, bridle and bit!

 

This day, I was with a group of about 18 people, mostly DELL employees. Koelle gave us a demonstration and talked about how horses are very much in the moment, completely present to what is going on around them at that point in time. Horses are extremely sensitive to the energies and non-verbal cues that we humans constantly give out.  And, these non-verbal cues and energies are the truth for the horse, not what we might be thinking or hoping we WANT or speaking verbally to the horse.

 

Horses Mirror Us

Due to this wonderful nature of horses, they are an incredible MIRROR of ourselves and our TRUTH.  They respond IMMEDIATELY to our non-verbal cues.  They will not justify or second-guess the messages we give them! This was evident when I had my turn in the round ring with a large, 2-year old thoroughbred.  (By the way, none of the horses used in the program had previous experience with the techniques that Koelle taught us.)

 

I did fine at the first part to “Get the horse moving and control his speed and direction.” I stayed at a 45 degree angle from his withers, and walked around near the center of the ring, and clucked and slapped the rope against my thigh.  No problem. The next step was to look for the signs that the horse was ready to move from being on his own, outside the “group leadership” (me), which normally feels unsafe for a horse, to wanting to “join up” with me, the leader, which generally feels safer for the horse.  The four signs we were to look for were (generally in this order): the ear closest to me being trained on me, the horse running closer into the middle of the circle, bowing of the head, and licking and chewing actions.

 

I Wasn’t Sure What I Was Doing and My Body Showed It

When I saw these behaviors I was to walk in arcs towards the horse, avert my eyes to the ground to avoid a confrontational eye contact, and wait for the horse to come to me. What happened was that, since I wasn’t sure what I was doing and my body showed it – my shoulders were slumped, I was walking “willy-nilly” (as Koelle told me) and I was just “hoping” like heck the horse would do his thing, but the horse didn’t react in the manner that he was “supposed” to!  He just stood there, watching me.  My body language gave me away.  He might even have been reading my mind!  Indeed, since I really wasn’t clear in my mind on what I was supposed to do, I wasn’t FOCUSED on the right behaviors, and, therefore, I wasn’t BEHAVING as a leader. MY BODY GAVE ME AWAY, and he wasn’t going to follow me since I didn’t know what I was doing.  Smart horse!

 

Talk about a poignant lesson in leadership!  But, as soon as I straightened my posture, and walked with more purpose, the horse came right up to me and followed me around.

 

People and Horses – Both Respond to Focus and Leadership

So, what did I learn?  I know that people, (like horses), pick up on our subtle, non-verbal cues.  Of course, people are not horses, and yet, as the horse demonstrated, if I am not sure what I am doing, or where I am headed, others will not want to follow me. If I am to be an effective leader I must be clear on what I am doing, and be in the present moment while also focused on my goal. When I am clear on where I am going, others will be more desirous to follow. When I am clear on my goals and have passion in what I am doing I have more energy and my body shows it – I stand straighter, my voice is stronger, and my face clearly shows my enthusiasm. People are attracted to that.

 

Coaches Corner:

1)    Are you clear on your goals?  Do you know where you are going?  You do not need all the answers as to the HOW, but you must at least be clear of the WHAT.

2)   How does your body give you away when you aren’t sure what you want? Consider your own non-verbal cues and body language. Even if you do have a goal and are clear about how to attain it, what is your body expressing? 

a.   Is your verbal and non-verbal communication aligned? 

b.   Be aware of how straight you walk, shoulders back, mouth soft, eyes alert but not “shifty.”

c.   Do you feel determined in your intent, or “mushy”?

Do you have some questions or thoughts about this?  Your own experiences? Send me a note:  inquiry@synergybuilders.com. 

About three weeks ago I had a startling cognition - my low back pain was GONE!  For the last two years I had been suffering from low back pain due to arthritis in my lower vertebrates. Sitting at my desk for hours at a time didn't help anything, and I was going to the chiropractor for a number of months, which had helped somewhat, but couldn't reduce the damage that was already done.

 

What had happened to cause my back pain to completely dissipate?  In late December I started drinking a very tasty juice called MonaVie.  MonaVie is a blend of nineteen fruit juices, with the primary ingredient of the Acai berry.  The Acai berry has been the focus of recent studies due to its high ORAC (anti-oxidant) score as well as its anti-inflamatory properties.

 

Due to my wonderful personal experience with MonaVie, as well as research I have done regarding its manufacturing process and the sustainable and ethical stance of the company, I have become a new distributor of the product, which is not sold in stores. 

 

To find out more, please visit my MonaVie website:

www.mymonavie.com/carolw